Evaluation of One's Journey!

Here I am again and almost a year has past by..I have read my previous post and learned the same frustrations I have....I used to lead a group and have said to want to form another group.
TROPA ni GOD was dissolved by August 2013 and have cried over it...the members just simply stopped coming all because of different reasons.

I prayed that I form another group, this time the elite ones....the business women....but then again....almost seven months have passed and still nothing happened....unfruitful as a result.

The Lord said in John 15 that he desires for us to bear fruit and that fruit is not just about one's character change but also of going out and winning the Cause of Christ - loving Others by and through Christ who lived, died and raised again for us to gain eternal salvation and to be with him in heaven....

There are 3 things that up to now I am not consistent with and I believe even my leader sees this.
1. Consistency in my Devotion
2. Consistency in my Prayer Life
3. Consistency in Loving Others.

It seems my connection with Christ is not not strong...there must be something hindering it to completely flow the right kind of current and to let the Light of Christ in me to completely Shine. If
my volt should be a 220 volt and I am hooked up in 110; there will be some light but the full capacity of the light will not be used well. Or like a cable that has been broken along the line, even if you adjust to make any twist and turns even if both ends of the cable is properly hooked...but as long there is something that has cut its current to flow the connection will not work.

The solution to both scenery;
1. Replace the defective cable with a new one- remove what hinders the flow of the current
2. Get hooked up to the proper voltage so that your potential capacity to truly shine its brightest light be used.

I have known this solution for a while back...yet what hinders me....me honoring the request of my husband.
1. I need to resign from my job that is taking too much of my time instead of doing what I am suppose to do...win souls and make disciples.
2. I need to devote ample time in prayer and devotion to be able to clearly hear the Lord in his every instructions so that I could do what I am suppose to do.

If all of these is just words...talk...without actions then again the same situation will remain....and my action will be and should be
1. Give ample time to prayer and devotion
2. Resign from work.....final filing of resignation June 1,2014

Prayer;

Father God, thank you for giving us time to evaluate ourselves///the use of journals blogs in expressing ourselves in our thoughts and even evaluating how and what we have done to go out and do your will. Setting of goals is good and when we do not do anything after setting of goals..we go no where. Doing Nothing does not change anything...if I were able to do changes here at work...physically and financially...so much more...You Lord using me with the limited time left for me to minister to them and that is one way of loving them as well....Let me be able to spend time in prayer and devotion and doing action plans in order for us to do your will.

I have given myself 3 months Lord and help me to spend those time well in both prayer, devotion and winning back the Xevera Water back to you...while I am still here until I go out to the outdoors and win for you....My 90 days challenge will be From April 1, 2014 to June 29,2014.
within that 90 days Lord...I have done this
1. Read 10 chapters a day
2. Pray for 1 hour a day
3. Minister to 2 souls a week
4. Give Sacrificial of PH50.00 on top of the PHP100.00 Sacrificial Giving for the souls of Xevera Water.
I Have made commitments before without doing anything about it...Now Lord...I will...much is expected of me and much I will do and give back...I will not let anything hinder me from doing so Lord.

This I commit and pray by your strength, guidance and wisdom in Jesus mighty name I pray. amen.

Frustrations in Life!

Yesterday June 30, 2013 marked the 35th anniversary of our church and it was a joy to see us celebrate God's goodness...I was saddened up to this moment of my pain....Pain that out of all the cell leaders of the church...the members of my team did not show up...a lot of emotions sprung up
1. Shame
2. Pain
3. Unworthiness to be called a leader when those whom you are leading are not at all following.

This made me think...though our Primary Leader still recognized the effort and still believes in what God can do through me...I do not see the same as she does. This made me see of what will happen when I go to heaven...that I have not brought even a soul to the Lord whom I have taken cared of...becoming responsible to the task assigned.

So I have evaluated my self and asked God to show me what I lack? in me particular before I start pinpointing at my members and of what they lack. As I read through God's word today...God reminded me and started to teach me not just of the basics but of the character flaw that I have.


Acts 2:42 They were devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer

Romans 2:1 Therefore you are without excuse, whoever you are, when you judge someone else. For on whatever grounds you judge another, you condemn yourself, because you who judge practice the same things. 2:2 Now we know that God’s judgment is in accordance with truth against those who practice such things. 2:3 And do you think, whoever you are, when you judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself, that you will escape God’s judgment?

1 Thessaloninans 2:17 But when we were separated from you, brothers and sisters, for a short time (in presence, not in affection) we became all the more fervent in our great desire to see you in person. 2:18 For we wanted to come to you (I, Paul, in fact tried again and again) but Satan thwarted us. 2:19 For who is our hope or joy or crown to boast of before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not of course you? 2:20 For you are our glory and joy!

A. I have not devoted myself to

1. Teaching

2. Fellowship

3. Breaking of Bread (corporate worship)

4.Prayer 

B. I have been judging others or compare myself to others when the standard should be the Lord not my standards for what error I see in others are the exact errors I have as well.

C. There should be  a fervent desire for me to see in us to grow and to love the Lord as well. For our joy and glory will be the result of our fruits and that is growth in others.

Now I asked myself, what am I to do with what the Lord has shown me?

1. I need to be devoted and what does Devoted means---it means with desire and consistency to the basics of a Christian growth

2. Learn to keep myself from passing judgement for I too have lots of flaws

3. My desire is to see them grow as I would like for me to grow in love with the Lord everyday.

Sometimes looking at my situation makes me weak...try as I must to keep myself focused and fixing my eyes on the Lord rather on myself....Frustrations of Life! they are many and one of them is this....help me Lord.

 

Negativity of emotions

At this moment...the hurtful feelings are intense....when you knew you haven't done anything wrong but have just done your best in your work even in dealing with relationships but you end up sulking....

Thoughts would wander and ask a lot of why's, how come and what is the meaning of it all...but if I do continue to dwell on it? I will surely end up miserable....

I asked God...have I done the same to you? Have I hurt you the way I am hurt now? There was no direct answer but an overwhelming realty that He knows how I feel and He really did feel the same kind of pain that I have...more intense than mine at the moment....this made me ask for forgiveness...He didn't say that I have hurt Him badly but He experienced and continues to experience this pain because of the attitude of ungratefulness despite of it all.

We will always experience pain and the negativity but surely, God is always there and He will always show compassion, mercy, love, forgiveness and comfort always.....

God bless!

I love you Lord...thank you very much for the comfort and love and understanding in everything we are - specially me and of what I am going thru...What I feel now is just a tip of the iceberg of your desperate pain you have endured for me on the cross....thank you always and I love you po. Amen

Kanakung kaluguran

Makalungkot talaga kung ing metung mong kaluguran dyang nanung buri mong gawan para asopan me...ya mismo aliya bisang magbayu...aliya bisang pasaup....Gaga gaga ya pamo nyang minsan ala naman palang katutuwan kaya. akwento ko ne minsan i Vin at i Cianne..pero ing makalungkot...dininan na ne rugung metung a chance..sinayang ne..i tatang na rugung Vin...uyta pelayasan ne ing anak na kasi mipasawa ya rugu kaya...ena buring salese...ya namung bahala...dyang rugu ikami keni..kung tutuusin bisa naku mu rin mag give up pero siguro kailangan na talagang mabyasa keng masakit a paralan. Siguro ing masanting dapat gawan keni...ing pamilya ng Vin ing dapat a minister da rugu...kailangan damu sigurong akit na atin lulugud...tabalu kang Pastor mi kung nanu ing desisyun na...pero metung mu naman ing sinabi ko kang Cianne....paburen mu ne...pangadi ta ne mu i Vin keng desisyun a gewa na...sana mu pin manumbalik ya keng Apung Ginu at panalangin miyang ing Ginu na ing bahala kaya....

Mabyasa ya mu rin...ing panalangin mi sana agad a agad...ali itang malambatan...kasi masakit ita...o sige ne...kwento ku namu keng tutuki kung atin ko rugung a balita kekayu tungkol kaya...kaya pag kinapit tana keng Apung Ginu dapat ali taya lalakwan...kasi ya ali naka ta man paburen...lalawen naka tamu at panayan ne itang anyawaran taya ing kapatawaran at pamaglinis na kekatamu ngan...Salamat keng lugud na ning Ginu parati...amen.

Ing Metung a Kaluguran

Atin kong metung a kaluguran na makapagtaka namu ot mekanyan ya...atin ya palang sasalikut a past na...
Kwento ke mung bagya...Alilan ke lagyu ne kasi para sigurado namu...lagyu na is Vin...nyang maglolo ya ketang abe ko obra...akakit miyang ne ka sweet...neng ka loving...alang aldo na ali me akakit na agyu nang ali akit ining i Cianne ali na mu rin tutung lagyu...keng halos pilan pang bulan ming pangabalu kaya...atin yang gewang biglang megbaligtad ing mundo at balamu aliwa iya ing kakilala ming Vin.

Minsan memasyal ya ining i Vin at Cianne ketang kaluguran ng Cianne...kaybat megpaalam ya i Vin na atin yang puntalan saguli...sakto pamu masikan ing uran at babagyu kanita...ot miras maygit metung oras ali ya pa magbalik ining i Vin...atin la pa namang communication Cianne through text...nayng meynip ne rugu ining i Cianne inawus na ne...makapatda ne ing cellphone ng Vin...syempre nino namang ali migaganaka ketang oras a ayta....memanwus ne rugu ining cianne kareng aliwa nang kaluguran para pasaop na pantunan ining i Vin...inawus na ne mu rin ing pengari ng Vin...alayu karela...ala lang idea nokarin ya i Vin.

Keng kalabatan sabi ng Tatang ng Vin...ali ya dapat migaganaka i Cianne...dati na ne kanung gagawan ita...so bayu ya minuli i Cianne karela...tinaglus ya pa kari Vin para akasabi nepin ing Tatang ng Vin...atin yang abalitang dyang ako mangatakutan ko at manga-paisip ko keng sitwasyun na ita. Dati ne kanung gagamit drugs...kaya pin minuli la pampanga dahil keni ya kanu merehab....atin muring  3 aldo bayu ya minuli.

Ing masakit kanini...marakal rugung maghusga kang Vin....neng kasakit a sitwasyun...deng aliwang mekabalita sabi da...nanu yang klaseng tao na mayna at pota atin yang problema keng isip. Kasakit ne...ako ing malulunus kaya...kesa keng sopan deng magbayu ing tau nong kabilis maghusga...

Atin murin 5 aldo bayu ya pepalto i Vin kang Cianne, pero ing kasantingan misabi lang masalese...balakusa pin mikawani nalang 2 e....Pasalamat kong maragul na i Cianne atin yang takot keng Ginu at dyang ali ya pa makanitang kalalaman...ikit na kung makananu kahalaga ning manatili keng salita ning Ginu at manatili kaya. Kaya sabi mi pin...pisopan mi keng pangadi at puntalan de ding kapatiran i Vin para hikayatan de muling makyabe keng pamaglapit na keng Apung Ginu.

Neng tapang megsalita i Cianne pero ali ne dinikdik ing pangatao nang Vin...agyu na pang sinabi deng mangasanting a bage keng pangatao na bayu itang masakit a geas na na kabud nyamung mewala at ali pepakit...mas miniral ya itang makasarili na kesa ketang luugd na keng Ginu at keng pamilya na at i Cianne...neng galing sinabi i Cianne...sabi nang Cianne kang Vin...aliwa dapat ikami ing dahilan mo keng pamagbayu mo...dapat maging dahilan mo mumuna ing lugud mo keng Dyos at pag ita ing a una mo siguradong ikami mu ring pamilya mo matula keka kasi sigurado ne ing pamagbayu mo...itang pamag tuluy tuluy keng apung Ginu at siguradong maging masalese ne Biye na kanita.

Kailangan pang magpakatatag ya spiritual kaybat mag apply ya pang obra na kening clark para atin yang pag umpisan...akit da deng buo nang pamilya na ya mismo byasa neng talakad keng sarili nang bitis...at deng luluban na...siguradong para keng apung ginu, para keng sarili na at para keng maging pamilya na...kung tutuusin matwa ne..ot balamu ali ne balu ing pangawan na...

Talagang makanyan alang edad kung megkamali ka...agad dang akit na byasa kang bumangon kasi keng apung ginu hanggat megbalik ka kaya...alang sayang a panahon kasi bawat panahon at sitwasyun ating dahilan...para keng Glory na ning Ginu.

Panalangin ko keng Apung ginu na ining i Vin samasan na na...at i Cianne patuluy yang tatalan keng apung Ginu at akit dang pareho na manyaman kayabe ing apung ginu keng agana ganang bage keng mundo....Sabi napin ning Banal na Aklat...Lumapit ka keng Dyos, at lumapit ya keka..resist me ing gawa na ning kalaban at lumaot ya keka...pero kailangan ita daily - aldo aldo para ing bawat aldo tamu siguradong ing apung ginu ing abe ta....sigurado ko...salese lang pareho...maniwala ko karin...keng pamagbayu ning tao.

Ala Mu

Ayne, patingapun nakung alang gagawan...paynawa mong mayayawus ...pero mas madalas ko keni harap na ning computer ana nang mag browse keng facebook ana nang mag lawe twitter, ka reng bayung news at ayne bayu kong hobby ing pamag blog....mangapakayli ko pin klasi gagamitan ke ing kapampangan upang alang masyadong makaintindi mo ne? hahahahh....talaga atang makanyan...aliwan namu para ali ka masyadong maynip keng biye..

Keng tutu na nini mimisip ko kung gawa kong sarili kong libro...pero ali ko naman balu nanu naman ing kanakung topic mo ne? hehehehhe...kung tungkol keng biye biye pane namu makanita...tutal pane kaming makipag kwentuhan keni siping bale...atin kumu rin metung pang blog pero tungkol neman keng kanakung pamibye biye keng pamaglakad ko keng Apung Ginu...keni...pwede ko mu rin naman gawan oneng mas marakal kasing manakit keni e...

Ada pin balamu pamag scribble mu ing gagawan ko. Matutula naku man keng sarili ko kanini kasi balamu kasabi ke ing sarili ko....mangapakayli ko pin kanini eh...hehehe

Siguro datang mu rin ing aldo na sumulat kong medyo seryosong bagya...ing pamag obserba ko keng bawat aldo ko kareng abe ko...Oneng ing gamitan ko talaga keni ing salitang kapampangan....Ada pin pwede de kasi ngening gamitan deng blog a reni para kasuhan daka o silipan daka pamibiyebiye...ok mu siguro anggat ala kong sasabyan a lagyu at ali ko masyadong specific kareng sasabyan ko pwede keng sulat keni.

Pero kailangan ko pa rin miminat...keng facebook pin ngeni keng America atin nang legal a pamaggawa kareng post da keng fb...pero siguro keni gawan ko namu pikatulan para ali masyadong serious ne.....

nang kaimportante kasi itang laman na ning isip mo asusulat mo eh...pero sabi napin ning Banal a Libro kailangan tayang ingatan ing laman na ning isip tamu kasi ita ing luluwal keng pamanyalita tamu at pamag gawa... ali neman masakit gawan ita eh...keng istu mu namang pamagpili kung sanu ing palub mo keng isip mo...bageng maka Dyos o bageng makasira keng sarili? Madalas naman deng tao keng umpisa balada masalese kasi ing karelang isipan ing sarili da...oneng kung ing sarili talaga ing kaluguran ta...ita nang masanting di ba? Itang makasaop keng sarili para makaiwas keng pamag gawang karokan....kaya ako ing pipilinan ko eh kung nanu ing palub ko keng isip ko....ken neman talaga magumpisa deng bage bageng malilyari di ba?

Kung sanu ing inisip ta yang gawan ta...tulad keng gewa ko patingapun...mas marakal ya itang meg computer ko kesa keng memalantsa ko o memalis man lang...hahahahha...pinili ke ing katamaran kesa keng mas makalinis...a isip ko tuluy...sarili ko pa rin pala ing masusunod ne kesa ketang sasabyan kong makaDyos...kasi ing Ginu buri na balanced and proper order di ba?...yan tuluy ikit ke ing sarili kong alang agawang masalese heheheheh....pero kung tutuusin balamu pin me relax ko eh...kasi ala kong isipang maka stress keng sarili ko...at ayne byasa nakung mag blog ...hahhahaha....

O sige....ken namung tutuki...magluto ko pa para keng Lalabs ko...at pamalantsa ke rugung malan ala ne rugung malan...a;a yang sulud kanyan.....Osimap talagang ikit ke ini ne? hehehhehe

Salamat at keni balamu pwede kong magmurit muritan hahahhaha...ali naman po...joke mu ita...bayu ko mako...mangadi kata pa ne...abayan muku.

Ginung Dyos Salamat po keng pamantabe mo kanaku patingapun, bagamt meg tamad tamaran ko ngeni...atin kang binyeng blog kanaku upang agamit ke keng laman dareng kaisipan ko...bage na wpede tane mang asabing diary pero deng madlang people makabasa la...dyang pa pong akit de...ing panalangin ko po na kareng susulat ko...sasabyan ko at gagawan ko po ika nawa ing madinan kalugdan at kapuryan keng bawat galo ko...salamt Ginu at milako ko panamdaman a rpessure o stress keng obra...peburen yu ko pamu pong meg tamad tamaran oneng atyu ka pa rin manatabe para sabyan kaanku na istuna...at kailangan keng gawan na ing dapat kong gampan bilang anak yu po...asawa...at bilang makipagobra po....sopan yu ku murin pong gampan ke po ing pamanalaga kareng binye yu pung tupa upang ila pu mabyasa la naman pong isuko ing biye da kekayu at pagtiwalan kayu....sapagkat iakyu mu po ung makapamye sikan kekami at lalo na po keng pamaggawa para keng Lagyu yu po....salamat muli ginu...ignatan yu ngan  po deng kaluguran mi keng biye...deng pamilya mi at kaluguran...deng ali pa makakilala kekayu po...bulatan yula po kasisipan upang agawa da ong antindyan ing salita yu po at kareng pamag balita mi karela keng lugud yu kekami...salamat po muli Ginu keng eganagana po...ini po ing kekaming panalangin keng laryu naning aming tagapagligtas na i Jesus...Amen...

Bye bye na pa ne...ken nang tutuki.,,mwah!